Our Phones, Our Pride

There was a time when some powerful people thought that the mobile phone was not meant for the common person. Thank God they were shamed in 2001 when GSM came into Nigeria. Phones are not just for communication. They are critical enablers of business, relationships, governance and many more. Somehow, they have also become a way of showing off. In this part of the world, using the latest expensive phone shows you are doing well. Anyway, that is a debate for another day. Let us not digress.

I know we all have come to love our mobile phones, but here is some etiquette we all need to imbibe.

1. Number of times to call someone – When you call someone, do not try more than twice. When it rings out the first time, try just one more time in case they are far from the phone. By the 2nd time, they should be able to pick it up. Where they don’t, there is no need to call a 3rd, 4th or 5th time as they either can’t speak with you at that moment or don’t want to speak with you. So, let them be unless the person is holding your kidney or any other vital organ. If you deserve it, they will call you back.

2. Number Busy – When you call someone, watch your screen or listen. Where they bounce your call, either because they are unable to or do not want to speak with you, let them be. Send an SMS, not a voice note. They obviously cannot listen to your voice note if they are in a meeting or engaged and can’t take your call. So, if it is urgent, send SMS. Unless you are willing to wait until they are done with whatever it is they are doing, they can then come back and reply to your voice note.

3. Cold Calls – If you are contacting someone for the first time, especially when they do not have your phone number, don’t just cold call them. The right thing to do is to send them a text message telling them who you are, how you got their number, what you would like to discuss with them and ask when it will be a convenient time for you to call. Not WhatsApp, as they might have hundreds of unread messages.

4. Video Calls – Video calls help bridge the gap between face-to-face and mediated communication forms. Though it is also mediated, seeing the face while hearing the person makes the process more effective. However, seek the other party’s permission before initiating a video call or switching a voice call to video mode. The other party might not be camera-ready.

5. Public Calls – While it is your phone, and you reserve the right to answer it when it rings, please keep your voice down if you have to pick it in a public or crowded space. When you pick up a call at a bank, restaurant, or on the plane while waiting to take off, we do not all have to be part of your conversation. It is not just a courtesy but also for your safety. Be security conscious.

6. Speaker Phone – You should only put your phone in speaker mode if you are in a space occupied by you alone. Get an earpiece and don’t be a nuisance to others. If you need to have others listen in and therefore need to put someone on speaker, seek their permission first and let them know those there with you.

7. Recording Calls – While you might want to feel safe and not be misquoted, recording conversations without the other party’s knowledge is unethical.

If more and more of us imbibe these tips, telephone use might just become less irritating.

PS: This is unrelated to phone, but since we are on the issue of etiquette, when someone wishes you a Happy Birthday, the proper response is; “Thank you”. Not “Where is my gift?” or “Should I send my account details?”. Do not beg for gifts. If you really do deserve a gift, the person will send it to you.

Also, if you are one of those always calling your relatives and friends stingy, you need to search yourself. We know the economy is tighter than ever but learn to live within your means. How do you know that that person you are labelling stingy because they have refused to meet your request is also not having it tough? They might just be more decent than you and have not resorted to begging others to cover their expenses.

Okay o. Bye for now!

(c) Yemi Aremo Adeyemi