Friendship in Your 20s, 40s, and Beyond: What Changes and What Stays the Same

Friendships are some of the best things that exist on earth, and they provide us with support, laughter, and a sense of belonging. Yet, as we experience different stages in life, how we initiate, maintain, and appreciate friendships also shifts. We have carefree nights during our 20s, and later, we are juggling responsibilities at our 40s and beyond. Friendships shift through stages, yet there are specific aspects that remain constant.

Let’s take a closer look at friendship at different life stages and explore how it transforms and what stays the same.

Friendships in Your 20s: The Era of Exploration

Your 20s are a time of self-discovery. You’re figuring out your career, relationships, and overall direction in life, and friendships often reflect this dynamic energy.

What changes?

• Friendships are largely situational—you bond with classmates, coworkers, and people in your social circles.
• There is an emphasis on quantity over quality, with large friend groups and frequent social outings.
• Friends often move in and out of your life due to career shifts, relocations, and changing priorities.

What doesn’t change?

• A need for companionship and shared experiences.
• The desire for deep, rich relationships, regardless of how long they take to develop.

Friendship in Your 40s: Quality Over Quantity

When you are in your 40s, life becomes more organised. You could be working, raising children, or managing other obligations. This means friendships become more intentional and meaningful.

What changes?

• You care about quality over quantity, keeping a small group of close friends, instead of having a big social group.
• Friendships require more effort—everyone is busy, so arranging get-togethers requires planning.
• You value emotional support and not superficial connections.

What remains the same?

• The need for connection and belonging.
• The importance of shared values and trust in friendships.

Friendship Beyond 40: Bonds and Lifelong Connections

Once you have climbed the 40s ladder, friendships take on a more meaningful connotation. With more life experience, you appreciate the friendships that have stood the test of various stages of life while remaining open to new friendships.

What changes?

• A shift towards lifelong friendships—the ones that have endured different phases of life.
• A greater appreciation of companionship and support rather than being out and about socializing on a frequent basis.
• Friendships are formed around shared interests such as retirement, hobbies, or even grandparenting.

What doesn’t change?

• The desire for emotional support and companionship.
• The pleasure of having someone to share things, laughter, and memories with.

No matter the stage of life, friendship at different life stages remains a vital part of our well-being. While the dynamics may change, the need for meaningful connections never fades. One thing is certain, true friendship is about being there for one another, through every twist and turn of life whether you’re navigating friendships in your 20s, 40s, or beyond.